Mother's Day 2019

     I trust that you all had a wonderful Mother's Day.  I surely did!  The kids "surprised" me with several great gifts - roses, a new robe, gum, and a personal pecan pie.  My husband "surprised" me with my favorite skin products from Trim Healthy Naturals.


  My daughter Aaliyah wrote a poem on the inside of the card the kid's gave me.  It really blessed my heart.

Mother's Day Prize

You bloom with colors of kindness

Your peddles full of love

It takes a flower like you

To win 

that Mother's Day

Gold Meddle.

-Aaliyah Beckles

Handome Men!!!😍😍

Poem by Aaliyah Beckles

Until Next Time,

Power of Influence

When You Thought 

I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another.  When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me.  I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick.  I learned what it means to serve one another in brotherly love.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I heard you pray over me and kiss me goodnight and I felt loved and safe.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw how you handle your responsibilities even when you didn't feel good.  I learned what it means to glorify God in all things.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you give of your time and money to the people in need and I learned that God loves a cheerful giver.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw tears come to your eyes. I learned that sometimes things hurt; but it's alright to cry.  When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you praying and reading God's word and I learned to depend on and trust in Him.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I looked at you and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Author unknown

This is also a poem I came across in search of something special for Mother's Day.  It speaks to the power of influence and letting your actions speak for themselves.

The type of parenting philosophy that says do as I say: not as I do is not very effective.  As the song goes..."Your walk talks, and your talk talks; but your walk talks louder than your talk talks."
Say that 3 times fast!

Here are a few snapshots of our April.  Also, feel free to hop over to our new YouTube channel (Tinylasnews...life at Pecan Cottage) and join us on our latest adventure!

Until Next Time,

Legalistic Attitudes

 WARNING! This post may be abrasive or offensive for some.  Read on if you don’t mind being challenged about what you believe about God. I have felt challenged about this topic (Legalism,  the attitude of legalism more specifically) with my kids. I want them to be comfortable interacting with people - children- who aren’t exactly like them while maintaining who we have raised them to be.  I don’t want them going to extremes in different areas in their lives in order to cover for insecurities and seek favor/love.  I don’t want them to feel like they have to do everything as I have done in order to win the approval of God...or even me and my husband .  Make no mistake, I desire for them to carry on their relationship with the Lord as sincere and devoted Christians; but I want them to see the value in our principles for themselves and as a catalyst  to their happiness and well being.

As a young child, age 5ish until 9ish, I rode different Sunday School busses to a few different churches.  I distinctly remember praying to become a Christian when I was about 9 years old.  Time passed.  We moved a few more times.  I turned 12 years old, and the bus workers from church found us again. My Grandma, who lived on the other side of town, had given them our address.  I was faithful to wake up my 3 siblings every Sunday so that we could ride the bus to church.  At the end of every service, our pastor ALWAYS invited anyone in the congregation to come forward and pray to receive Christ as Savior. I went forward during the invitation  and the lady asked me if I had ever prayed to be saved before.  My answer was yes, so she showed me verses about being sure I was a Christian.  This wasn’t enough to make me feel better about myself.  I then began to seek out ways to earn more love from God and to feel like I was really a Christian.  I increased my church attendance to three times a week. I joined the group of bus workers on Saturday visitation.  I noticed that the girls from church always wore dresses.  I heard a message that gave me reason to believe that my doing so would make God happy; so I went straight home and threw all my pants away...on trash day.  I wanted to make sure that I couldn’t go back on this decision.  If my mother was angry about me throwing all my clothes away, she didn’t show it.  She also didn’t buy me any dresses; so I was left to wearing the 3 dresses/skirts that I owned.

God provided more clothes.  I won a contest at church and the prize was a new Sunday dress. Also, my public school teacher invited me over and gave me a few dresses that she “no longer was able to fit”.  I still felt that I needed to do more.  One day, at the age of 12, I attended a missions conference at our church.  We sang the first song, then a missionary woman gave her testimony.  She mentioned that she had just been saved.  How was that possible?  This woman had grown up in a good Christian home.  I knew her family and they were good people.  She had attended Bible college AND was now on her way to give her life to tell others about God.  If she had not been sure that she was going to heaven; how could I ever be?  A heavy fear came over me.  I just knew there was going to be an earthquake or something that night and everyone in the building was going to die and I would go straight to hell!  I rushed to our bus captain’s wife and pleaded with her to talk with me right then.  She politely told me that I would have to wait for a break in the service.  Forty-Five LONG minutes later, I went forward and prayed the sinner’s prayer. At this point, I knew all the verses by heart.  I had shared them with others.  I prayed with the alter worker and when I stood up, I felt as if a  huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

This time, I realized that there really was nothing I could do to save myself or to earn the love of God.  Jesus really had done everything necessary for me to be accepted.

I continued to go to church as often as possible.  I even was given the privilege of attending the Christian school.  I continued to wear skirts and dresses daily; but this time it was an exercise in delighting in the fact that I was a young woman who loved God and not because I needed to earn anyone’s love and favor...not even God’s.  He had already demonstrated the degree of his love for me - before I had even thought about Him.

What is the point of this post?  What do I wish for you to take away from my blog today?

 God loves you as you are!  GOD LOVES YOU!  And, The only thing you must do to earn His favor is to believe the gospel and receive Jesus as Savior. 
The Bible tells us in Romans 5:8 that God demonstrated his love for us while we were yet sinners! 1 John 1:8 says that if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves...he is talking to believers here!  My favorite passage to show others who are interested in salvation is John 3.  Nicodemas, a leader of religious Jews, is told by Jesus that if he didn’t forsake his religion in favor of being born into the family of God through the Spirit of God; he could forget seeing God’s kingdom.

 Be careful of legalism and legalistic attitudes.  Legalism, to me, is following a strict set of rules in order to earn salvation and to prop yourself up above others.  Doing things in order to show that you are in God’s favor.  It’s forsaking the gospel, grace and a relationship with God for a set of rules or laws that have nothing to do with salvation.

Be careful of borrowing the convictions and beliefs of others who seem to “have it together”.  As a young person, I imitated the ladies (good people) who were around me because I respected them and saw the blessings of God on them.  Sometimes I knew the “why” (reason) behind the “what”(rule or code of conduct).  Sometimes I didn’t.  Let me say that imitating good people as a young person never hurt me. 

As my relationship with the Lord grew, some of the borrowed convictions became my own because I saw they were good for me. Some of them I shed, as I viewed them as unnecessary for my benefit.  I have purposed to be intentional about my standards of dress, actions, dietary practices, and social activities because I want to reflect the God in me as much as possible; not because I want to attract God to me. There’s a difference.

Is any of this making sense?  Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.  Can any of you identify with my story?  Let me know in the comment section.  Is there anything I should have mentioned, but didn’t?  Let me know in the comment section.

Until Next Time,

Courage, Identity, Justice

 About three years ago our family watched a movie entitled Courageous.  That movie changed my son's life.  Understand that my son is currently 5 years old. Even still,  this movie was a life changer for him. I have shared before that he is obsessed with becoming a police officer.  For his birthday and Christmas every year since then, he wants a new police officer uniform and a suitcase. Last year he added a law book to the mix. We have replaced his uniform a few times; but he still doesn't have a suitcase or law book.  I did purchase a kid friendly book about the constitution and the bill of rights.  I am planning for the next year of school for him.  (I will expand on that topic - prepping for next year's school- later.)

Two years ago, the cousins came for an extended visit.  My husband and I noticed and discussed the fact that every time my nephew saw a police officer, he became visibly disturbed.   We watched the movie Courageous with him.  Problem? He did not identify with the good "Black" cop.  He identified with the drug dealers in the movie. We would see him imitating the behavior of "TJ" (head bad guy) in the movie!  What do you do???

We introduced him to every police officer (and fireman) we came into contact with...even if it was an incovenience.  It became sort of a game.  Anytime the boys saw an officer, they yelled out excitedly, "Police Officer!", or "Sherriff!" When Sir returned this year, it was like he hadn't left (in this area, at least😊).  The game continued.  I am sure that all the stickers, speeches,  and extra positive attention had a great effect on both of the boys...and the girls.

A few situations have happened that have caused me to really stop think about what we are trying to accomplish with all this police praise.

1.  I was pulled over, treated rudely, and given an unjust ticket....with my son in the car!  We were headed to the airport to pick up my husband and daughter.  They had surprised Grandpa in California for his birthday.  I was listening to an audio book while driving.  The other 3 kids were IN THEIR SEATBELTS enjoying the ride.  I saw the lights of a highway patrolman, who had been tailing me, come on behind my car!  I had seen him a mile back and thought nothing of it.  I wasn't speeding, or doing anything else wrong, so I didn't worry.  I was shocked when he pulled me over, asked for my papers, and accused my son of "walking around in the back seat".  Not just being unbuckled; but completely out of his seat and walking around.  Anyone who knows us, knows that is a complete lie.  What do I look like having my only son, 4 years old,unbuckled,  walking around in the back of my car, on the highway, windows rolled down (AC broken), in the middle of the Summer?!? I'll wrap this little tale up, cause I'm getting upset all over again!!!  I went to court - over an hour away from home - twice. In the end,  I didn't have to pay the ticket because the officer never showed up for court.  He was out on an extended medical leave for throat surgery and no one knew when he would return (according to his officer friend).  Coincidence? I think not!  I know God is real and that He heard the petition of His child who was treated unjustly and embarrassed by a man in uniform in front of her children.

2.  A few months later, I was home doing the dishes.  The kids and I noticed that a police officer was parked on the church property (next door), watching for speeders.  They excitedly ran inside and asked if they could go say "hello!" to him.  I allowed them to go and sent some pecan pie with them.

He came again a few days later and they greeted him with smiles and oranges (I was out of pie!).  He came over and thanked us for our generosity, warm welcome, and snacks.  He gave the kids stickers and allowed them to look inside the car.  This is where the story takes a turn.  He only showed them the back seat!  I don't know if there is some rule about not letting kids or others see inside the front; but this bothered me.  Did he even consider showing them anything other than what the law breakers see?

3.  This third situation brings me to the main point of this whole post.  Recently I was reading Proverbs thirty-one.  Usually, I sort of skim through the first nine verses and focus on the last 20 or so.  This is the chapter about how to be a virtuous woman, right?  This day was a little different.

I was aware that this passage was written by a queen - a mother, teaching her son.  Maybe it was her last words to him before he went off into the world, or even became king.  What did she think was important for him to know.  I saw five things:

First, she called him king Lemuel.  The name/word Lemuel (according to my sources - wikipedia and "she knows" baby names) means "devoted to, or belonging to God"; or "the king to whom God spoke".  How Beautiful!  My desire is for my sons to be devoted to God and for God to speak to them daily as they grow in the Lord.

Second, she charged him to be chaste.  There is noting like a rotten woman to rob a man of all his potential and ruin his life.(v.3)

Third, she encouraged him to be a man of justice. I am reminded of Micah 6:8.  God said that doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God is not only good; but required of all of us. (v. 5,8,9)

Fourth, to have mercy. To know when to have mercy requires discernment. (v.8,9)

Fifth, to be characterized by sobriety and temperance. ( v.4 - 7)

Last of all, she describes to him the "perfect" or "model" wife/queen. (v.10 - 31)

What does all this have to do with the movie Courageous and my recent experiences with the "Cops"?

As a mother, I am given direction from the word of God what to focus on as I teach my sons. It doesn't matter what my experiences are; I am to continue to praise and lift up the position of enforcing the law and ensuring peace in our community, country, and world.  When we encounter those who abuse that position, or forget the power of their words and actions; we must remind ourselves and our children that EVERY human being makes the choice daily to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God; or not.  We don't curse the whole process or institution because of individuals who make bad choices.  There will be days when we make bad choices.  Every sane person wants justice when they have been wronged.  Every sane person wants mercy when they have done wrong.  It takes a unique person of great discernment to hold the office deciding when to give which.  It is my hope that God will help us to equip our little Raymond with the tools and knowledge to be the man of justice he admires so much.

Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace. 

-Jeremiah 29:5-7

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 

- Matthew 5:9

Raymond is making sure the laundry is sorted properly.😉

Until Next Time,

Love Note

Lunchbox Love Note

by Kenn Nesbitt

Inside my lunch to my surprise

a perfect heart-shaped love note lies.

The outside says, "Will you be mine?"

and, "Will you be my valentine?"

I take it out and wonder who

would want to tell me "I love you."

Perhaps a girl who's much too shy

to hand it to me eye to eye.

Or maybe it was sweetly penned

in private by a secret friend

Who found my lunchbox sitting by

and slid the note in on the sly.

Oh, I'd be thrilled it were Jo, 

the cute one on the second row.

Or could it be from Jennifer:

Has she found out I'm sweet on her?

My mind's abuzz, my shoulders tense.

I need no more of this suspense.

My stomach lurching in my throat,

I open up my little note.

Then Wham! as if

it were a bomb, 

inside it reads,

"I love you-Mom."

This is a cute, little poem I found in search of something for our church bulletin last Mother's Day.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Until Next Time,

Forbearance

Occasionally I feel like a foster parent or a step parent.  Opening with this statement is going to feel disjointed from the post for a while; but please bear with me.

This past week I came across the word "forbearance" about 3 or 4 times.  There are a couple of things that I am praying about and I believe that the answer the Lord is giving me is to FORBEAR.

The more I meditate on forbearance, the more I can see how needy I am in exercising it in MANY areas of my life.  Before I share further, let's begin with it's definition. 

Forbearance (according to Mr. Webster) is : a refraining from the enforcement of something (such as a debt, right, or obligation) that is due: Patience : the quality of being forbearing : Leniency 

What comes to mind are the phrases mercy in Action. Patience with hope. 
There are days when I feel like a drill sergeant barking out orders...
There are days when I feel like I am critiquing E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G the children do and say...
There are days when I am short instead of sweet to my husband (usually because he has forgotten to do something that I asked him to do, he is not doing something the way I would prefer it to be done,  or he has offended me in some way that I haven't communicated with him about (yet😉)...

There are days when I wish God would just hurry up and (fill in the blank)...

On such days, I lack forbearance!  I mentioned mercy in action.  My children have benefited in many ways from having the cousins live with us this year; but I  am sure they sometimes miss their sweet mama.  When children who have been brought up in a home environment completely different from their current one; many adjustments have to be made for everyone involved.  I never used to yell at my kids.  NEVER!!!  When the cousins came, they couldn't hear me sometimes until I yelled at them.  I am back to my no yell policy now.  They have adjusted; but my children had to live with me during the period of adjustment.  I wish it never had to be so.

I mentioned patience with hope.  One of my children is a lot like her father.  She is on her own clock and often in a different world.  She is also incredibly smart and has a more mechanical mind.  That first issue requires MUCH patience...but hope is expectation.  I can tolerate her being slow about some things because I know she will get it.  I often have to remind myself (with her) to not say "hurry up!"  When it's important for her to stay with the group, I ask the Lord to give me ways to help her that don't crush her spirit...usually.  Like I said, there are days!

Patience with hope....Raising someone else's kids, for any length of time, requires patience.  The kids will have ways about them that you will admire and that will make you proud to know them.  They will also have ways about them that make you angry or sad and that you wish you could just erase for their own good. I have these emotions about my own kids too; but usually my husband or I have/had those same ways about us, so we kinda know how to handle our kids.  Not knowing the parents or why the child thinks a certain way or does a certain thing is frustrating.  What can one do in such circumstances?  Pray!  Teach them the right way again and again.  Guide them with Truth.  Love and compliment them openly and verbally as much as is possible.
Remember that consistency and repetition are KEY. 
Chose your battles wisely.  Don't try to correct every issue that pops up. It's important that you win the heart of the child.  You cannot do that if you attack everything about them.

Before we had our children my husband and I were looking into fostering children for adoption.  We took the classes at our local DHS and the whole thing.  One of the things I remember is that we were told not to wash all the children's clothes/toys right away.  I didn't understand that at first; but what message does it send when a child enters your house and you take all of his/her "clean" clothes and their favorite snuggle bear and throw them into the wash?

Apply that same principle to the child's speech, habits, and mannerisms.  Try and discover the beautiful one inside and encourage them to let that person shine through all the rough stuff.  As I mentioned somewhere before, you must connect before you can correct!  Let me close this post out with what I am hearing the Lord say to me.

"Forbearance is Love in action.  Mercy in action. Patience in action.  Tinyla,  Practice it!  I promise to help you. " - Jesus


"With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;" -Ephesians 4:2

Additional Related Scripture:  Romans 2:4; Romans 3:25; Ephesians 6:9; Colossians 3:13 to end of chapter

Until Next Time,

Kindness Pays!

Part  Two:

Ticket Cash in Day is a great day for the kids.  I enjoy seeing them so excited about getting paid for their efforts; but this day also means that I will have to take 7 kids shopping soon...not my favorite thing, but peace is worth the inconvienence!  We have Kindness Cash out days twice a month.

What does cash in day look like?

A.)  I gather the materials necessary for this event.
          1.  Our ticket bucket (converted pretzel container)
          2.  The kids piggy banks
          3.  Pen and paper for recording their giving/choices.
B.)  I call everyone to the table and we tally separate and count all the tickets.  The person with the     
       most gets 10 extra tickets ($1).

C.)  The kids, 1 by 1, decide how they will divide up what they have earned.
   

Spending Options

1. Tithe.  10% of total
2. Save.  10% of total goes into their banks.  Sometimes some of them chose to save more, sometimes some of them whine about having to save anything.  
3. Give.  5% or more.  We have 2 organizations that the kids have chosen to give to for Christmas at the end of the year. They have to give 5%.  Sometimes some of them chose to give more, sometimes some of them whine about giving anything.
4. Spend...whatever they have left.  I encourage them to make wise spending choices. I have a bucket of candy that they can purchase for a dime a piece.  (They haven't yet figured out that they can purchase their own bags from the dollar store for less.  I am glad because I am not a parent that promotes candy whenever we want it.) I also give them the option of buying extra screen time (1 cent/minute).

The Kindness Contest is a tool we use in our home to encourage and teach kindness, good communication skills, problem solving skills, stewardship and money management.

How do you promote these attributes in your home?  I would love to know.  Comment below or shoot me an email at tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.  I would love to hear from you!

Until Next time,