Tween book list!

Hello friend!

Thank you for sharing your time with me today! I have had several requests for what we will be/are currently reading. I often share what we are reading together on Instagram and Facebook; but I decided to send the kids to the bookshelves and get some of their favorite books that we have read for me to share with you all as I am able. Here is our first list. It’s Aaliyah’s pics (and a couple that her mother has added that she will be reading this month.

I hope you will find something that interests you and your family. These books I consider appropriate for children ages 10-13.

Until next time,

Creating Home

Hello friend!

What says "home" to you?  What is it about your home that makes it the place that uniquely comforts you? 

My husband told me a story about a coworker of his who was moving across town.  He and his new bride had purchased a home together and were moving from their apartments into their first home together. While he was at work, she was given the task of loading up and moving the first load of things.  This would be the only load they would be able to move for a few days. What do you think he came home to find she had thought the most important thing to move first?  A huge load of books!   He was upset at first.  Books!!! You can't eat them.  You can't sleep on them.  They won't keep you warm or safe; but that was all she moved.  Why?  Can you relate?

I certainly can.  When we moved from North Carolina to Arkansas we had one trailer.  Everything in that trailer moved with us. Everything that couldn't fit in the trailer was sold or given away.

It was hard for me; but I was able to pack two FULL boxes of my favorite books.  Some of them I had been collecting since the eighth grade.  Sometimes my husband jokes that he didn't know that he was marrying a librarian.

On my moving priority list are:

1. Books

2. Blankets

3. Plants

4. Snacks 

5. My Piano

Books are a given, especially since we recently moved during a time when our local library was closed due to the pandemic.  We have great librarians who often order books based on our wish list.  We know that we are very blessed in this regard.  I love to read.  I often found my mother and grandmother reading when I was a child.  We also used to get those books from Reader's Digest in the mail often.  Anyone remember that?  I want my children to have a love of reading and I make sure we have plenty of quality books surrounding them.

Blankets

The first time we moved at the end of spring. This time we moved during the beginning of Winter. Blankets are just a practical edition.  For some reason, I seem to have started collecting those as well.  It may have begun when a dear friend of mine made a quilt for Aaliyah when she was born; or it may have begun when I began learning to knit.  I have a new appreciation for anything that was quilted or hand knit.

Plants 

When we moved into our new home here in Arkansas; we moved from a house surrounded by beautiful plants and huge trees. The area directly in front of and behind was being farmed. We had a good sized garden there as well.  This home only had a few trees.  I say had because I have since planted seven; but it will take years for us to really be able to appreciate them.  While the area behind us is being farmed by those same farmers; we no longer have the corn/bean/rice field directly in front of us to admire. 

I planted a little garden last Spring and I am planning our garden for this year now; but what did I do to ease the transition?  Every gift card I was given by our wonderful friends when we moved, I used a great portion of to buy plants. We may not have as much greenery outside to enjoy; but we definetly have plenty inside...so much so that my loving Hubby has "requested" that I not purchase any more plants.  It can be pretty addictive, I admit.

Snacks

This is a new addition and only added to preserve my sanity.  Heaven help me if my son should come to me and ask for a snack and me have nothing to give him!  Raymond DeSean seams to graze all day long!!! He is going to need a job to help with our grocery bill before long.

Piano

I am SO thankful for our piano! It is a digital Yamaha and is a pretty good quality.  I am praying for a really good upright; but in the mean time, we love it. I am able to give lessons on it as a source of income to support my habits 😄; and my children are learning on it as well. A few of them play on it often just for fun.

I am hoping to make this a sort of series as we continue to make adjustments on our home.  One of the topics I hope to cover is why we have chosen to name our home.  Until the next post, I hope you enjoy a few of these little snapshots of Life at Pecan Cottage.

Until Next Time, 

Morning Routines

Hello Friend!

Thank you for joining us today!  I would like to talk with you today about our mourning routine.  As a homeschooling parent, I think it is very important to have some sort of scheduling system or routine for your home each day.  We have tried many different versions of morning routines (thank you YouTube!). The one I am about to share with you has served us well for years, but I am finding that we are needing to make some adjustments to accommodate our growing children, new home and neighborhood, and changing interests. Do you have a schedule system or routine that works for you?  I'd love to hear about it!  Drop a comment below or email me at tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.

1. Grooming

 Grooming includes washing our faces, brushing our teeth, showering (if we are scheduled to shower in the morning), fixing our hair, and getting dressed.

2. Quiet Time

Quiet time includes reading the Bible and praying, if you are a reader. If not, it means you pray and look through one of the many Bible picture books on the bookshelf.  The point for the younger ones it to establish the habit of personal devotion to the Lord very early in their lives, even though they can't read.

 I have added to Aaliyah's list to write in her "Proverbs Journal" one verse from Proverbs every day. She will continue this until she leaves home. Raymond and I originally wanted to start the children writing Proverbs when they turned 12, but I forgot all about it. I was recently reminded about this desire and decided to go ahead and have her start now.  She will be 13 in June.

3. Clean Zone

Cleaning zones includes making their bed and cleaning their area of responsibility in their room, as well as, to tidy/clean their assigned area of the house.  I have divided the house into 4 zones. They are each responsible for one zone. We switch zones on Mondays.  Raymond and Cassidy are responsible for walking the dogs (Max and Pita) in the morning.  Aaliyah is responsible for any laundry in the dryer (I usually wash and dry a load as part of my routine.) and to do a new load of laundry.

4. Read

Those who can, read at least one chapter or for twenty minutes (we have to put a cap on it for some 😏).  The others look at a book; or listen to one of the readers read a book.

5. Breakfast

Most days breakfast for us is really simple.  Muffins, yogurt with fruit and/or granola, cereal and milk; something like that.  Aaliyah cooks eggs and bacon or sausage on Fridays. Cassidy makes oatmeal for us on Saturdays. BUT you only eat breakfast if you were industrious enough to get out of bed and get your other things done before it's time to begin our morning school things.  If not, you will be really ready for snack/lunch time.

6. Play Outside

This happens daily unless there is a dangerous blizzard outside.  If so, we do an exercise video together on YouTube or something.

Once all of those things are done, it is usually eleven o'clock or eleven thirty and time to begin our morning school routine. I mentioned before that we will have to make some adjustments. One of my girls naturally includes music as part of her routine; one of them needs to.  Also, we plan to be getting chickens, and maybe even a couple of goats as soon as the fence is up.  I will be doing most of the work for these additions initially; but it will also be delegated to the littles.  I do enjoy animals; but I also want the kids to learn valuable lessons that only taking care of others/animals can provide.  That's all I have for today.

As usual, I hope you enjoy these snapshots from our Life at Pecan Cottage!

Until Next Time, 

Creating Home

Hello Friends!

How are you enjoying 2022? It feels so strange for me to be uttering those numbers as our present. I graduated high school in the year 2000 and it sounded so exciting. Once you put that 22 behind the 20…it just feels odd; BUT I’m grateful to be a part of it!

 We have been busy little bees over here at the cottage.  The last time we met, I was telling you all about Little Miss Zoe Shanice not sleeping through the night. She still doesn’t, but she is waking less often. Now, we are just waiting for her to decide to walk on her own. She will take a step or two; but that’s it.  Zoe is cute and she knows it. The main reason she isn’t walking is because someone is almost always willing to carry her around. She is such a joyful and precious addition to the family. We are SO thankful for our little Zoe.

I mentioned that we have been busy.  Last November, we moved into our new home.  I have been doing my best to be a good wife and mother and to create a beautiful an comfortable place for our family to dwell in.  A little over a year into our new space, and I am beginning to feel like we are home.  The interior is not where we want it to be forever; but it is clean and cozy.  

The requirements for a house to be considered our "new home" were three/four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a good size yard with at least one climbing tree.

This home met all those requirements and had a couple of other perks.  One being a sunroom.  The sunroom sold me on this home.  I could see the sunroom as our school/music room. We spend a lot of time in the “Play room”. Even my husband uses it from time to time as his study.

In the past year we've ripped up some carpet; taken down some cabinets, painted other cabinets, painted a LOT of walls, replaced some flooring, and painstakingly removed some very stubborn wallpaper. This house was built in the 1960’s and it has many of the markings of that generation…including the paneled walls. At first I HATED the walls. They have since grown on me. We still intend to remove them, but I can see their part in making our house look warm instead of cold.

SO, that was the housekeeping and the “let’s get caught up” bit of this post. Let’s get to the point. Why have I bothered to ask for your time today? I hope to encourage you in the matter of prayer.

Every new year there are some fundamental issues that I like to revisit and check the status of in my life. Prayer is one of those issues for me. I have been particularly challenged about how I pray with and for my children.

Two resources I want to share with you about this are: 

1.)  Focus on the Family had a dear lady speak on the topic. I haven’t read her book, but the podcast was extremely helpful. You can click on the links below if you’d like to listen to it. One thought that she brought out was to consider the idea of if you could pray only one thing for your children, what would it be? The one thing that came to mind for me was for them to have a teachable spirit. Of course salvation is top priority; but a teachable spirit was the first thing I thought. Another thing that blessed me is the clever way she had her children give a praise report and prayer request. They would each go around the table and say what they were happy about (praise) and what they were hopeful for (prayer request). She used the info they provided to pray for them.

2.) The book “52 Things to pray for your Kids” by Jay Payleitner is what I’ve chosen to be my prompter and reminder in prayer for my children this year.

My plan is to read a chapter each week. Last week’s challenge was to pray with your children when they hear a siren. This has a twofold benefit, in my opinion. First, when our silence is interrupted by loud sirens, we are encouraged to go to God for a moment. Secondly, we are encouraged to think of others. Does your family have any particular prayer habit that you find effective in going to the Lord as a family? Do you have any personal prayer goals? I would love to hear about them! Drop a comment below, or email me at Tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.

I would like to share with you a couple of things that I feel we are doing successfully…as far as I can tell.😉

I was challenged some time ago to not pray that God would be with my children; but to instead pray for them to see His presence and influence in their daily lives. God has already promised never to leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but many times we don’t honor Him because we don’t acknowledge His presence and influence in our everyday lives. 

Also, we have been in the habit of praying together aloud when we are taking a trip more than 20 minutes or so away. As each child prays, they are encouraged to thank the Lord for something, pray for something/someone that’s on their mind (a certain family in our church, a friend, a missionary, world event,…), and end by praying for the sibling beside or I front of them. I want them to be in the habit of praying for one another. I also enjoy hearing the purity of their prayers.💕

Thank you for sharing your time with me today!

Until next time,

Tinyla 

.

The Waiting Game

Hello Friends! So glad you are joining me today! This is just an update on what's going on with the Beckles at the cottage. First, and as the title suggests, we are patiently waiting for miss Zoe to sleep through the night! I kind of promised myself that I would take a break from most things social until Zoe was sleeping through the night. Having babies in your 40’s and still being able to show up in your life requires a certain amount of rest.😊 I assumed that would be at around 8 months to a year. 

When will we parents learn that each child is different and each experience unique! 

All of my other babies would sleep through the night from about 6 - 8 months old. Let me define “sleep through the night” for all of the new mamas. In my experience, that means from their 10 o’clock/12 o’clock nursing session to their 5 o’clock/7 o’clock nursing session. Usually my babies would nurse and then go back to sleep in their crib after their morning feeding.  This is not Zoe’s story!

She still wakes at least twice a night and demands to nurse. She has a beautiful crib that she now has learned to tolerate napping in; otherwise she sleeps with us. I’m just wait for my husband to say that she has been officially kicked out.

Zoe is currently 14 months old, and shows no desire to stop her night feedings; even when she eats dinner with us.  I decided to break from my blogging fast to give a little update and to tell you that I’m not giving up…just still in transition from surviving to thriving. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel; so I hope to be retuning to you all soon. Thank you for sharing your time with us and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day/evening.

These are a few pics of our gingerbread house competition fun.😁

Until next time,

Tinyla

Birthing Tips: My Easiest birth Yet!

Birthing Tips from Tinyla - Without pictures, but with the a few graphic details.

Birthing Zoe has been my easiest labor, yet.  What helped me to be able to say this with such certainty?

I have had six deliveries.  When I delivered Brayden (number 5), I did take medication once I got to the hospital.  I made the decision that labor pain was one less thing for me to deal with, so I took an opioid through my IV.  I cannot for the life of me remember the name of it...maybe that is a side affect of the drug itself.  I must say that I don't think that I would ever consider taking an opioid in normal circumstances because of the side affects to the baby that could arise.  Even still. I labored for a while at home with him AND I only took the medication when I was in the last phase of labor...I had already dilated to a 7 when I agreed to medication.

With Zoe, I endeavored to be intentional about every aspect of the labor.

On to MY tips:

Labor Prep! 

Stay hydrated and well rested.

      Somewhere around week 36 I began experiencing a LOT of braxton hicks and back pain.  I think this began happening for two reasons.  One being that I was dehydrated, the other - mainly the back pain - due to me not resting well. During this week, there was one particular day when my back was hurting more than usual and I went to the hospital to make sure everything was alright.  They kept me there for an half hour monitoring me and the baby. Once they told me that everything was alright, I began researching what I could do to remedy the situation.  The first thing I did was increase my water intake.  I admit that I don't have a habit of drinking water throughout the day.  I usually have a cup of coffee at breakfast and a glass of water, tea, or kool-aid 😁 at lunch and dinner.  I added to that a protein shake made with THM protein and sweetener and almond milk, a cup of tea (usually raspberry), and an additional bottle of water.

    In order to make sure that I was resting well, I took an hour or two break during the middle of the day, usually around 3:00 p.m. when the kids were finished with school and on to their afternoon chores and activities.  This usually included me having a glass of tea and a snack,  or a protein shake. Sometimes I would nap on the couch in a reclined position,  other days I would put my feet up and enjoy my snack and my Youtube playlist or favorite show on Prime.

I also became more diligent about taking my magnesium supplement with dinner every night. 

I think managing pain during labor is a Mental Game.  

I did my best to prepare for labor mentally by...

    A.)  Listening to positive birth experiences on podcasts and Youtube.  This helped me to cast down                     negative thoughts when they arose.  

I would like to share with you the address to three sites that were most helpful during the last month of my labor prep.

    Bridget Teyler

    Sarah Lavonne

    Above Rubies Podcast

    B.)  Firmly establish a plan to manage pain during the entire laboring process. Many people talk about         birth plans, and they may include pain managment on that list; but that is not what I am speaking of               today.  

When I had my first child, Aaliyah, I found myself counting (with Leslie Sansome's voice in my head) during every contraction.   I have been walking with Mrs. Leslie for many years.  I'm sure she doesn't know that she is also my labor and delivery duola as well. 😀

For Zoe's birth, I planned and prayed that I would labor at home until I was dilated to a seven.  We live only a couple of blocks from the hospital, so I was at peace with this decision. 

I have always downloaded an app that timed my contractions for me; but when the contractions became closer together and more intense; I counted aloud.  

With Zoe, I began this even before I was in active labor.  I was usually somewhere around 45 to 60 seconds when the I felt the contraction subsiding.  Reminding myself that the intense pain is only for about a minute and is bringing me closer to having a precious bundle of life in my arms is a HUGE game changer.  I knew that I was changing to active labor when I couldn't intelligently count to 60 anymore (LOL).  It's almost hilarious, I began to count noticeably faster and skip numbers.  

POSITION

Three of my children were born in a sitting position.  Usually I would feel the need to go to the bathroom.  With my two home births; I did use the restroom; but I usually stayed in the restroom and had the baby while still there. 

Zoe was born in the hospital.  They have certain things they want you to do in order to make it easy on the hospital staff.  One of them is to stay laying down in bed.  Not a great position for laboring without medication!  One of the reasons that I wanted to labor mostly at home was because of this one restriction.

Because I was so far along, There was little time for them to strap me to the bed, or to even put an IV in my arm.  I told the nurses that I didn't want medication; but that they could put the IV needle in my arm in case of an emergency.  The nurse did; but it came out while I was pushing.  

When I had a contraction, I simply sat up and over the side of the bed. What could they do?  Push me back down.  NO, they were very understanding and let me do what I needed to do to get through the contraction.

While laboring at home, I sat in the edge of my favorite and most comfortable chair. I tried just sitting on the toilet; but it was uncomfortable and cold. 

PUSHING

When pushing, I leaned back on pillows, grabbed my thighs and imagined that I was having the hugest bowel movement EVER.  I literally had to imagine the spot where "it" was coming out.  This allowed me to focus my energy on pushing the baby out of the correct spot.   Some of my contractions were wasted on "bad pushes".  Initially, I forgot this tip; but once I remembered and put it into practice; things moved along a lot more rapidly.  The doctor was helpful in telling me when I had made progress. Once he told me that my baby had  a lot of hair; it gave me the boost of motivation to continue with energy.

I must add that the nurses coached me to push, take a breath, then push again.  I did best with just taking one large breath and giving one great, long push per contraction. 20+ minutes of pushing and she was here.😌

I want to add that I began taking evening primrose supplements and walking 5 times a week at week 38.

Thursday night before she was born, I took a version of the midwifes brew. (I didn't have access to the exact ingredients mentioned online, so I substituted them as best I could.)

Friday I had one of the major evidences of the first signs of labor - loss of mucus plug + diarrhea.  Saturday I had diarrhea and mild contractions all day.  EARLY Sunday morning I had a contraction hard enough to wake me up. I began having consistent and painful contractions Sunday morning at about 10:30. By that evening at about 3:30, I told my Hubby I was ready to go to the hospital. Sunday evening at 5:09, Zoe was born.

NO intervention, NO medication, NO tearing, YES to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

All of this said, the Lord allowed me to have the best pregnancy, labor, and delivery I have ever had! I did what I could; but I was reminded that He wants to participate in EVERY aspect of our lives.  Birthing children is not excluded.  I did not play worship music, or have anyone present speaking positive things to me; but I made sure to remember that the Lord was with me. I am grateful!!!

Are you expecting? I hope this helps in some way.

Do you know anyone who is currently pregnant?  Feel free to share!  I have done this thing five times before; but I learn with each delivery (from others) how to do it better.

Until next time,

Our Newest Edition! Zoe's birth story

Hello Friend! 

 I cannot believe it has been almost five months since I have posted here!!! Time is flying right past me. So much is going on in the world that I may have withdrawn into my little bubble for sanctuary. In order to keep in a good frame of mind, and a (somewhat) joyful spirit; I have scaled my "extra" activities back. SO...what brings me out of my cave for today? The news of our most recent arrival. 

 

Introducing Miss Zoe Rae Shanice Beckles

For some reason I feel compelled to start with a bit about Brayden's story. (you can read more about this here).  In March of 2018, our son Brayden was born. Unfortunately, Trisomy 18 caused many issues for Brayden's little body.  He survived to week 36 of the pregnancy, which was a miracle in and of itself, but this very serious illness caused him to be stillborn.  

In July of 2019, I became pregnant again, only to miscarry at week 13 - September 2019.

Fast-forward to January 2020.  I began to feel a little fatigued. In February, with much trepidation, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive.  I have to honestly say that I had mixed emotions.  Physically, I was just getting my body back.  Emotionally and spiritually, I wasn't sure what to feel or expect.  I had to choose to be happy everyday.  I scheduled our appointment at week 12 and everything looked good.  Because of our history, I had to go see a specialist at week 21(ish).  I chose to take all the tests for genetics and disorders and such. The tests and the ultrasounds all showed that our baby girl was as healthy as a baby could possibly be.  I'd like to say that I knew by faith that everything was going to go perfectly; but that would be a lie.  Some days were great days, others...not so much.  One day that was special for me was the day that I walked into Walmart and they had a brand new stroller/car seat combo on clearance for $100 dollars off of the original price. Somehow, I knew it was for us. For one, I LOVE a good bargain.  One problem...at this time we didn't know if baby would be a boy or a girl.  Everyone in the house was praying for a baby boy.  I just wanted a healthy baby. I called by husband to get his thoughts and he just kept saying over and over again, "but it's pink".  I bought it anyway. 😁 We could always return it; but an opportunity to save $100 on something you need does not happen daily. Why was this so special to me?  Because I believed it was the Lord saying to us that he was providing for a need.  If there was going to be a problem with this pregnancy, I wouldn't need a car seat or stroller. With the previous pregnancy and Brayden, I never purchased anything. With Brayden, I would see cute little things for baby boys; but never felt comfortable buying anything.

I am able to honestly say that this has been my easiest pregnancy. I did have some fatigue in the very beginning; but that's about it.  In about week 35, I  don't know what was going on; but I slowed my activity WAY down because my hips and back were hurting so badly that I could barely walk.  I even went to the emergency room once to make sure everything was okay.  

 

Baby was in great position; but I wasn't dilated, or anything at the time.  I continued to take it easy until week 37. Baby was still in position and I was dilated at 1.  At this point, I began to prepare for labor.

I walked about five days a week for half an hour.  At week 38 I added Evening Primrose to my vitamin intake ( I had forgotten about EP and red raspberry leaf tea until then).  I listended to positive podcasts about birth, and I began to watch about 2 birth information videos on YouTube.  At week 40 I added midwifes brew and eating pineapples to my daily routine.  (Thanks for the tips, YouTube Mamas) Both of those things are supposed to soften the cervix.  I also  spent a little more time in "fellowship" with hubby than usual.

FINALLY, at 41 weeks and a day, Zoe decided it was time to make her appearance. I had my first contraction at about 3 in the morning; but I was able to go back to sleep until time to get up for church.

I did my normal Sunday morning routine, all the while having sporadic contractions.  I began to have really painful contractions at about 10:30...during our second hymn in church.  After the music and announcements I went home and I continued to labor at home until my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and I could no longer count to  60 intelligently. (Part of a future post about laboring tips.)

My husband drove me to the hospital, I was checked in and then the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was.  An 8!!! They called the doctor and about 15 minutes later he arrived. He checked me, said I was ready and asked if he could break my water.  He broke it and told me to push with the next contraction.  

I was not expecting to hear push!!! It actually took me a couple of contractions to compose myself and prepare to push.  Once I got it together, I pushed for about 20 minutes and out she came.

Once I arrived home my daughter Aaliyah asked if I was excited when Zoe finally was born; to which I responded..." I think I was more relieved, than excited in that moment."

Now I feel a little more excited, than relieved.

Until next Time,