Let Boys Be Boys

Hello All!
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
We enjoyed our holiday season.  Our days from about the middle of November until last week were filled with food, hospitality, food, shopping, food, piano recitals and talent shows, gifts, and of course food. I am willing to bet that your holidays were probably a little like ours.

Now, on to the topic at hand.

My husband and I are opposites in a lot of areas.  One being that he LOVES surprises.  I don't. Each time I discovered I was expecting a child, I wanted to find out; but he didn't.  How did we handle this situation?  I found out, but didn't tell him. I would buy generic things that needed to be purchased in advance.  I also packed an outfit for a boy or a girl for the first photo.    Why does this matter?  Because when I found our that we were finally going to have a boy, I felt totally unprepared.  I wasn't sure what exactly to expect; but one thing I knew...boys are different than girls physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I wanted to be somewhat prepared for him, so I did what I do when facing most "new" things...I read a book or two.

As time goes on  and I see my son growing into who he will become, I am challenged
almost daily to remember that his needs are different than the needs of my daughters.  I have already shared with you the story about a certain pair of pants that he hated to wear because he said they were too girly; but recently we had a moment in the bathroom.  We were in a department store and he had to use the restroom.  I cleaned off the toilet seat and told him to sit down.  He said, "No, Mommy.  This is how men do it."


 He then unzipped his pants, raised the seat and peed. (he did not lower the seat after he finished!).  Initially I felt pride, but then I just wanted to sit down somewhere and cry because I was reminded that my time as his "Mommy" was running out. Most professionals say that our core person is shaped by the time we are age 7.  My son is now age 5.  I have about two years to go to help shape who he will fundamentally become.

My nephew, Sir is currently 7 years old.  His mother and I have the same mother.  I love my little Sister; but I often say we experienced 2 different childhoods.  I grew up in the ghetto.  We moved more times than I can remember.  We lived with my Grandmother for a great portion of my early childhood years.
My sister, on the other hand, only moved once when she was four years old.  My mother died in that house just a couple of years ago.  I knew McDonald's existed and sold hamburgers and fries.  My sister knows their entire menu by heart.  I remember my grandmother fixing fried liver and onions with potatoes for just heself and me.  My sis didn't experience that blessing.

Why do I bring this up?  Because as different as my childhood was for me and my sister; her children and mine may as well have been raised in two different countries.  When she visits us the boys will go out and climb trees and build forts and shoot their homemade guns.  She always yells for them to get out of the tree and put the guns down.  I tell him to obey his mother; but when she leaves, I show him the trees that are safe to climb and how high he can climb them. I don't buy guns for them, but I don't stop them from making guns of their own with things they find.  I also encourage them to "shoot" squirrels or pretend deer so we can have some squirrel stew or venison jerky.  I also may or may not have locked the boys outside a time or two and told them to "shoot a tree" when they say they need to come inside to use the restroom.  I read somewhere that boys need an hour a day of unstructured play time outside.  I do not intend to rob them of this necessity!  (wink, wink)

In the classroom

This is one area where remembering that boys and girls are different is extremely important.  For the sake of time,  I won't share everything that I think should be different for them in school.  I will say that I don't require the boys to sit at a desk quietly while working.  I make time to work one on one with them.  I also try and touch their hand, head, shoulder, or arm when trying to help them understand new concepts.  It seems that just a little bit of pressure helps them to grasp things better.

Life is calling me away, but let me leave you with a few things to read or watch that may make the boys in your life a little easier for you to understand. Two of the articles are about the dietary needs of boys. I feed our boys more fat than I do the girls.  This helps to keep them feeling full and is good for their development.  If you boys are always hungry, add more healthy fat to their diets.

Two books I feel really helped me are: Raising Wild Things and  Bringing Up Boys. 

Artilces:

Kids and eating Fat

kids need more fat

Video:

War on Boys

Until Next Time,

Coming Soon...Math and Life.