Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day!

For almost six years I have been married to Mr. Raymond Beckles and what a wonderful time we are having.  Someone has said that the honeymoon, "starstruck" time of your marriage lasts only about two years maximum.  I strongly disagree!  You can continue on your honeymoon for as long as you are willing to fight for it.  I can honestly say that when I married my "Mr. Right" I didn't know what I was getting myself into.  I can think of five people in my  family (including my grandmothers sisters and brothers) who actually took the time to get married.  Only three of those ten realationships remain today. One couple I have never met - my grandmothers brother and his wife.  Another of the three I have only met the husband - my great-uncle. The last of those three recently ceased because my uncle (my mothers 40 year old brother) died (heart attack); and I am happy to report they he was saved and that they were happily married. I wasn't raised around happily married couples.  After I was saved I was exposed to many homes and I payed close attention to the parents' relationships in those homes.  I learned a lot just by observing.  I thought our marriage would be easy to keep "heavenly" because I married the best man in the world and I am pretty easy going and I forgive and forget easily.{I didn't expect to have much to need to forgive and forget... after all, I married God's perfect choice for me...}  Boy, did I have a lot to learn.  Even "Mr. Perfect choice for Me" isn't perfect...and neither am I.  The purpose of this post is just to encourage you to fight for a heavenly marriage.  The Devil desires to "steal, kill and to destroy" (John 10:10)  The Destroyer and our enemy desires to destroy our homes.  One easy way to do that is to destroy the romance and love between a husband and wife - the foundation of our homes.  I have learned (most of this this year):

1.  Anytime you have a negative thought enter your mind about your beloved, realize who is the originator of it and replace it with positives.  My husband jokes now about how he used to call home before he came home just to make sure the Devil hadn't convinced me that he was the devil in disguise.  Sometimes I would get so upset about some little thing (he left his dirty socks on the floor again!, He forgot to .... blah blah blah...you get the idea) and it would snowball.  By the time he came home I would be so upset and would become cold and stiff.
2.  Tell him how great he is...and don't let him get out of it.  My husband doesn't always recieve compliments very well, so I have made it my goal to help him by giving him practice.
3.  Schedule "sugar" days.  Certain days of the week are mine and certain days of the week are his.   It is scheduled.  How un-romantic  you may say; but it works. This is very important!  You didn't go through your honeymoon a day without it, why stop now. His "sugar" is always...um..."sugar"; but sometimes mine is a back rub or a foot rub.  We leave one day a week open.
4.Make sure he knows he is in first place in your heart, not the children.  Not your parents.  When our children are infants I pay special attention to this.  I spend so much time performing their necessities (I also enjoy holding them, smelling them, and kissing them when they can't complain) that it is easy to leave him out.  (Our special "sugar" schedule helps with this point too!) One thing I have learned is to not let them interrupt him when he is talking to me.  No matter how important they think what they are saying is (unless there is a REAL emergency.

Four tips to keep you sweet for your honey!

Until next time,


Jolene said...

I am SO thankful that you have found the love of your life and that you are happily married. What a testimony!

And, I LOVE your sugar tips! :-)

Tinyla said...

Thanks Jolene. Thanks for the comment about the sugar tips. I wasn't sure if that was TMI or not.


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