Friday, April 8, 2011

Sleepless Nights

I mentioned in a post before about not being able to sleep very well at night due to an active baby .  Well, last night was one of those nights; but it hit me all of a sudden that the active baby may not be the only reason why I can't sleep.  This year I asked the Lord to help me in my prayer life...So what do I do in the middle of  the night while everyone else is sleeping?  I pray.  I had a sweet time with the Lord last night and he showed me some things about myself that I really needed to know. 

In Sunday school I have been teaching about the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians chapter five. We covered love first, of course, about three weeks ago; but the lesson has been on my mind here of late.   We went from Galatians chapter 5 to First Corinthians 13. Yesterday I was reading a blog by a dear friend in California and she mentioned something about how her childhood home life shaped the way she viewed the Lord.  I believe this is true for all of us; but my childhood shaped my ability to love others with the type of love that I believe the Spirit gives. 

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Charity never faileth...

My husband is a great example to me in many things; and in the area of genuine love, this is no exception.  From the very day of our wedding when we made our vows, I could see and hear the love he has for me in his voice.  Since that day his love for me has continued in spite of my faults and failures and all of my idiosyncrasies.  I really do love my husband, my daughter, my family, and others; but I find that my love has not always been the love that is Spirit led.  It has been the love that I was trained to have as a child.  Love by default, if you will. 

As a Ceasar, I must be tough.  I must keep my guard up at all times.  I must be always in control.  I must not allow myself to be hurt by anyone.  In the wee hours of the night, the Holy Spirit asked me to let Him lead me to love others in a way that would honor Him.  I thought...This is going to take a lot of work; but with the help of the Lord I know that only good can come of it.  I am excited to see what He will do with me when I yield to Him.

Until next time,



Jessi said...

So precious when God speaks to us like that, just you and Him. This post was a blessing to me!

raising4princesses said...

love you and so excited to see your little baby in your arms!


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