Pecan Cottage Life: Brayden's Story

April 8th, 2018 was my due date for Brayden's birth. What was supposed to be a day of joy, turned out to be a tough one emotionally. Brayden was born on March 11th, a Sunday. I won't go into detail here about that because I have copied our prayer letter and pasted it below for those interested in reading his birth story in a nutshell. The whole experience was really....awkward. I have a photo of us holding Brayden after he was born. The nurse took the picture of us smiling and holding our newborn baby. Looking back, I have no idea why we were smiling...its just a natural reflex to smile for the camera I guess. What else were we supposed to do? Please understand that I am not writing this in a spirit of grief or bitterness. The Lord promised to comfort and give grace in time of need. Believe me when I tell you that He has not broken that promise. I can truly say that we have peace that passes human understanding. Lying in the hospital bed that night I turned on the television out of boredom and curiosity. We don't have cable or anything at our home by choice; so I was not sure what I would find. I settled on a Christian television channel and heard a preacher preach a message entitled, "Get out of Gethsemane". I listened to hear what he meant by the title. He went on to say that Jesus stayed in the garden of Gethsemane and pleaded with God the Father about HIS will for Him (Jesus). Jesus even cried tears mingled with blood; but once the enemy showed up to arrest him, he was ready to move on and carry his cross with boldness. What did that mean for me? I thought I was handling the whole situation pretty well. I was complimented by many people, including my doctors, about how well I was handling everything. I didn't think I needed to hear that message; but I was wrong. The Bible says in John somewhere (chapter 15, I think) that God's sheep hear His voice. He was speaking to me through that message from a pastor I would never have otherwise heard.

We pleaded with God to give us a healthy baby boy. He said no. I am to accept it and continue on with grace and boldness. This is what the Holy Spirit said to me. On days when I am hurting, but life goes on...I am to go on as well. I cannot expect my family and the church to stop having needs just because I do. I am to get up early. Allow God to fill my cup, including comfort when needed, and pour into others whether I feel up to it or not. I have experienced some really special times with the Lord over these last 2 months...really, even before these last two months as we waited for God to work on Brayden's behalf. The Lord has been good to us. I am sure He has been good to you as well. I hope this little letter will encourage you, as you experience uncomfortable things in your life. If so, let me know.

Below is our church prayer letter. As I said, it goes into more detail about Brayden's birth. Thank you for sharing this time with me.

Sincerely,

April 23, 2018

Dear Pastor and Praying Friends,

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. – Romans 14:8

In our previous letter we asked for prayer regarding our son, Brayden. He was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. On Thursday, March 7^th, we went for his 36 week checkup, and found out that he had passed sometime that morning. We know it had to have happened that morning because he was such an active little fella and that morning was no different. Even the ultrasound tech thought he was sound asleep upon first glance because he had not yet begun to show any signs of death. You can imagine how shocked we were when we found no heartbeat.

The doctors recommended that my wife try and go into labor naturally for the sake of her health, so she did. March 11, 2018, Spring forward Sunday, she began to have contractions as she was preparing for church. Once we were sure it was real labor we headed for the hospital just down the street. He was delivered that afternoon at just after 1:00. We had a small memorial service on the following Thursday. I am thankful for those who attended, two of which raised their hand for salvation. As was mentioned in the verse above, Brayden was the Lord’s while he lived in the womb; and Brayden is definitely the Lord’s now. We are thankful for the opportunity to have been his family for the brief time that he was with us. Of course, we would have preferred to have him with us now; but we trust our heavenly Father, who loves us more than we could ever imagine, to know what is best for Brayden and us.