UP Connection

You must Connect before you Correct!

I think the first and most important thing for a parent to do is learn the value in connecting with your child as soon as possible and as early in the day as possible. Before they mess up, or you loose your temper and offend them, etc; have a moment in which you look them in the eye and let them know that you love them and that you like them. It is easier to forgive the offenses of others when you have already established a connection or strong bond with them.  This creates grace for the day.

What does this look like? When you see them first thing in the morning, say a sincere "Good Morning!" and ask if they slept well.  Here lately in our home the next topic of conversation has been what they had a dream about the night before.  I am not sure if my son really dreams or not; but he always has a story to tell, and it is always wild!

Give great hugs!  Three of my children is a huggers...one is not.  I don't care.  She gets a hug anyway.

Some days I ask them what they want for breakfast...if Daddy hasn't already said, or is up for suggestions.

Start their day with a gift.  It doesn't have to be expensive...it may just be a little note in their school folder or under their pillow.

And my last example, ask them what a perfect day looks like to them, and attempt to make it happen!  This is not always possible, especially when one of your children says their perfect day would involve a trip to the moon! In which case learning about space and pictures of the moon would have to do.

In order to raise healthy, productive children who love and respect you; you must show them love and respect.  Invest in them.  Remember they are little adults and that someday they will most likely be the parents of your grandchildren; and that they also may be responsible for what happens in your future in years to come. ;)

Jeremiah 30:14 - All thy lovers have forgotten thee; they seek thee not; for I have wounded thee with the wound of an enemy, with the chastisement of a cruel one, for the multitude of thine iniquity; because thy sins were increased.

1 Peter 4:8 - And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

A Day in the Life Pics:

AND of course the puppies...

Until Next Time,

UP (Unparented Parents)

One of the things that burdens my heart most is the way that some parents treat their children.  I am especially burdened for single mothers and their families because I believe that families in this category (single parent homes) are challenged most in the area of kindness to one another and training children for success.  Single parents seem to mostly by trying to make it through to the next day alive! My mother and I both grew up in single parent homes. My grandmother, on the other hand, was raised in an orphanage from the age of 5 to adulthood. Her mother died and her father was rendered not capable of raising children due to his severe alcoholism.  I believe that because of my family history, I figured I needed some help in bringing up children that would actually do something productive with their lives.

Once I decided that I would marry and become a mother (God-willing), I began to study good, succesful homes and reflect on the homes of those I had been exposed to in my short life time.
I absolutely love to read information regarding family (ie. love, marriage, child rearing, birth order, etc.).  I also love to share information with others about how to love their children and train them for success in life.  This may seem odd, as my children are still very young; but I know that (by the grace and mercy of God) I am experiencing a measure of success in a few areas regarding child rearing.   I say this because almost every place we go,  my children receive compliments on their behavior.  I do not deserve all the credit for any apparent success with our children because I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man who is a great father. Also, I ask God for wisdom almost daily regarding my children and their future.
Why am I saying all this....because several people have hinted that I should write a book  and give seminars about training children. I keep feeling impressed to do so by the Lord as well.  I have begun studying and writing.  Although the book is nowhere near publication, I have decided to share some highlights with you.  It is my hope and prayer that some family somewhere will be blessed by this information! Let me know what you think ...and leave questions please, if you have any!

Until next time,

Puppies!

As I prepare for us to begin another year of school, I am reflecting over our Summer.  What an eventful Summer it was! We always officially break for summer after Aaliyah's and Cassidy's birthdays in June (they are 1 day shy of being 2 years apart) until the Tuesday after Labor day (Raymond DeSean is a Labor Day baby).We adjusted the end of our school year because the cousins joined us for about 5 months. I homeschooled my 3 plus my nephew (we enrolled the 2 girls in the local public school).  This Summer we visited two working farms, went to a several local events, visited several museums, and went to Oklahoma, California, and Mexico; and (the topic of this post) lost 1 beloved dog, but gained several more.

February of 2008 we adopted Nikitta into our family.

She lost sight in one eye last year and sight in the other eye sometime in late April.  The vet said there was nothing they could do; but to keep a close eye on her for signs of depression.  Sure enough she began to loose interest in playing and started to sleep more and put on a lot of weight.  With great sorrow we decided we would have to put her down.  About a week before we were scheduled to do so, my husband went out early one Sunday morning to go feed the chickens.  Directly beside the door was a grey puppy all curled up.  She wouldn't move.  We offered her food and water, but she seemed disinterested.  I offered her milk and she lapped it right up.  We kept and eye on her and she soon regained enough strength to stand and eat. This was when we noticed that she had a dislocated leg and a bloody foot.  We guessed that she possibly fell out of the back of someones truck and wandered around until she just found a safe, quiet place to die.

To make a long story short...We took her to the vet. Advertised for her owner;but never found her.  She seemed to join right into the family; so we decided to keep her after about a month of no response from anyone.  We even took her on vacation with us in July.  The grandparents wanted their vet to check her out, so she did.  Well, it was from this visit to the vet that we discovered that Nadia was no pup! She was at least 2 maybe 3 years old and was pregnant with at least 4 pups!

One week after we returned home, Nadia birthed 9 puppies!!! 5 boys and 4 girls.  Just one more thing to add to our adventure for this Summer...we now have a barn cat! Cassidy has been praying for a kitten; but I thought surely the Lord was say "no" since I am allergic to cats.  No such luck!

9 puppies

Nadia when she first arrived.

Our "new" cat officially named "Kitty". 
Not very original, I know!
Aaliyah holding the cat on the day of the eclipse.

Murder!

Dear Praying Friends,
I will be as sensitive as possible. There is a family who attended our church for about 2 years. They have almost all been saved and baptized in those 2 years.; but have not attended faithfully for about 6 months. They are in serious need of prayer! Their son - age 18- is being held in jail for the senseless murder of a police officer. While I am not saying that it is impossible that he is guilty; it is very hard for me to believe that he is the murderer. This act is completely opposite of the type of person we believe him to be. His aunt, who picked him up and very quickly and purposefully drove him to the police station so that he could answer any questions that they had for him, is convinced that he is innocent. The media is saying that he has confessed to the act; but his family says otherwise. I did not speak to him personally; but my husband did yesterday. We are praying for Officer Weatherford ' s family; please join us...but also pray for Tyler ' s family and for the truth to be revealed.

Above all We want the name of CHRIST to be magnified. The Enemy's purpose has been accomplished. He has stolen the peace of a community, he has killed a great man, one young man's life will be destroyed...potentially 2 young mens' lives will be destroyed. May we, the people of God, pray humbly for perfect Justice and Mercy!

Update:

Tyler has been released and the true murderer has made a full confession and been arrested; but different rules apply for him because he is a minor. Please continue to pray for the families of all involved.  Even though Tyler has been proven innocent of this crime,  people have made threats to his life.  He was rejected from certain school systems . He is a Senior and will be the only child in his family for generations who will not be graduating from the local high school. He has had to move away from his home town for his own safety's sake. This is such a very sad situation. Thank you all for your prayers.

Until Next Time,

Tinyla

Day by Day

Day by day, and with each passing moment, Strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I’ve no cause for worry or for fear. He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure, Gives unto each day what He deems best, Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest. Every day the Lord Himself is near me, With a special mercy for each hour; All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counselor and Pow’r. The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid; “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,” This the pledge to me He made. This song  has been on my heart and mind this week. I just thought I would share. Until next time,  Tinyla

Kindness Contest

I would like to share an idea with you all that has worked wonders for our home. We call it the "Ephesians 4:32 Project"...the kids call it the "Kindness Contest".
I got the idea for this from an article in the Above Rubies magazine that we get every couple of months.  I don't remember all the details of how their family played this game; but here is how it is going for us:

I have one big jar of beads. All the children have small jars (I got mine off of Amazon) with their names on them.  Anytime I hear or see one of them saying/doing something kind for someone else- they get a bead.  The only way they loose beads is if they tattle.  Very simple; but let me tell ya....it has worked wonders in our home.  Since we have begun this game I have become the "most beautifulest" person in the world and the best cook too!  (wink)  Also, I have observed children putting away one anothers' clothing, shoes, and toys.  They have even given away their candy in desire for a bead instead! One other stipulation I made in week 2 is that you can't boast on yourself and your good deeds, you must let someone else tell me of your kindness (let another man praise thee and not thine own lips...)  The reporter of kindness in turn gets a bead as well.

You might be wondering what the prize is for all of those beautiful beads...A Happy Meal or a Personal Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut at the end of the week. That's it! A Reward worth $5.00.
What a wonderful Blessing this has been for our family!!! Try it out and let me know how it works for you.  Comment below or email me tinylabeckles@yahoo.com

Rescue Heros

Rayanna

Cassidy

Bubba :}

Nephew

The Girls

Until Next Time,

JOY

Recently a friend asked for encouragement on facebook.  I thought, "Lord, what can I say to her that would bless her?" About a half hour later I re-visited her page and this is what I sensed the Lord was placing on my heart to share with her.  I thought I would share it with you today as well.

"The joy of the Lord is my strength." We sang that song on the church bus as I was growing up.  A couple of years ago I heard a lady say that and I thought, "What does that even mean?" Well, I experienced it after my mom passed. I was able to have joy even when it seemed odd...even to me. It was as if the Lord whispered to me..."you asked me a while ago what it meant to have My joy be your strength. This is what it feels like." I have had several days since where I have had to go back and revisit that principle...especially when I have loads and loads of laundry to tackle and 7 kids are calling my name! Ask the Lord to show you how to allow His joy to be your strength. That's my 2 cents!

You may or may not  have noticed that I said 7 children.  My nieces (ages 9 and 6) and nephew (age 6 - the youngest 2 are twins) are currently staying with us.  Let me tell you...I need strength and endurance from the Lord to meet the challenges of the day!
A long while ago (around Decemberish)I felt that the Lord was challenging me to wake up earlier in the morning. I fought and struggled and argued for months.  I sincerely and passionately (wink) reminded Him that I was a homeschooling mother who was still nursing a little one throughout the night.  He still insisted that I get up!  Finally, about 3 months ago, I gave in.  I set the alarm on my phone for 8:00 (It had been a long time since I had set an alarm and I am now ashamed to share how late I would sometimes roll out of bed).  A funny thing happened...I woke up at 7:59.  I got up and began to spend time with the Lord...to fill my cup, if you will; and one little person (my son Raymond DeSean) came into the living room with me and snuggled in next to me on the couch until I was finished.  As the week progressed the children, 1 by 1 started to join me in the living room!  This was a problem!!! Do I have to get up earlier that 8 in order for some quiet time? Yes.  I moved the time forward by increments of 30 minutes until no one joined me. Some days I meet with HIM at 5:30 and some days I sleep in until 6; but I now am delighted to get up and have my morning time alone with HIM.

I share this with you not because I feel that everyone who isn't up before the sun is living in sin (The Lord knows I LOVE sleep) ;but because I now know that the Lord, in HIS goodness, was preparing me to be able to pour into not only my children; but my sister's as well.  They joined our home about 6 weeks ago and they are all early risers!!!They latest they sleep in, even on Saturday, is 7:00.
I am so thankful for the time I am able to spend with them and for the friendships they are able to build with my children.  I know my mother is pleased with the relationships they are building. Everytime I feel overwhelmed, The Lord reminds me that He has promised me HIS joy as my Strength!

Until next time,