Mother's Day 2019

     I trust that you all had a wonderful Mother's Day.  I surely did!  The kids "surprised" me with several great gifts - roses, a new robe, gum, and a personal pecan pie.  My husband "surprised" me with my favorite skin products from Trim Healthy Naturals.


  My daughter Aaliyah wrote a poem on the inside of the card the kid's gave me.  It really blessed my heart.

Mother's Day Prize

You bloom with colors of kindness

Your peddles full of love

It takes a flower like you

To win 

that Mother's Day

Gold Meddle.

-Aaliyah Beckles

Handome Men!!!😍😍

Poem by Aaliyah Beckles

Until Next Time,

Power of Influence

When You Thought 

I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another.  When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me.  I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick.  I learned what it means to serve one another in brotherly love.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I heard you pray over me and kiss me goodnight and I felt loved and safe.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw how you handle your responsibilities even when you didn't feel good.  I learned what it means to glorify God in all things.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you give of your time and money to the people in need and I learned that God loves a cheerful giver.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw tears come to your eyes. I learned that sometimes things hurt; but it's alright to cry.  When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you praying and reading God's word and I learned to depend on and trust in Him.  When you thought I wasn't looking; I looked at you and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Author unknown

This is also a poem I came across in search of something special for Mother's Day.  It speaks to the power of influence and letting your actions speak for themselves.

The type of parenting philosophy that says do as I say: not as I do is not very effective.  As the song goes..."Your walk talks, and your talk talks; but your walk talks louder than your talk talks."
Say that 3 times fast!

Here are a few snapshots of our April.  Also, feel free to hop over to our new YouTube channel (Tinylasnews...life at Pecan Cottage) and join us on our latest adventure!

Until Next Time,

Legalistic Attitudes

 WARNING! This post may be abrasive or offensive for some.  Read on if you don’t mind being challenged about what you believe about God. I have felt challenged about this topic (Legalism,  the attitude of legalism more specifically) with my kids. I want them to be comfortable interacting with people - children- who aren’t exactly like them while maintaining who we have raised them to be.  I don’t want them going to extremes in different areas in their lives in order to cover for insecurities and seek favor/love.  I don’t want them to feel like they have to do everything as I have done in order to win the approval of God...or even me and my husband .  Make no mistake, I desire for them to carry on their relationship with the Lord as sincere and devoted Christians; but I want them to see the value in our principles for themselves and as a catalyst  to their happiness and well being.

As a young child, age 5ish until 9ish, I rode different Sunday School busses to a few different churches.  I distinctly remember praying to become a Christian when I was about 9 years old.  Time passed.  We moved a few more times.  I turned 12 years old, and the bus workers from church found us again. My Grandma, who lived on the other side of town, had given them our address.  I was faithful to wake up my 3 siblings every Sunday so that we could ride the bus to church.  At the end of every service, our pastor ALWAYS invited anyone in the congregation to come forward and pray to receive Christ as Savior. I went forward during the invitation  and the lady asked me if I had ever prayed to be saved before.  My answer was yes, so she showed me verses about being sure I was a Christian.  This wasn’t enough to make me feel better about myself.  I then began to seek out ways to earn more love from God and to feel like I was really a Christian.  I increased my church attendance to three times a week. I joined the group of bus workers on Saturday visitation.  I noticed that the girls from church always wore dresses.  I heard a message that gave me reason to believe that my doing so would make God happy; so I went straight home and threw all my pants away...on trash day.  I wanted to make sure that I couldn’t go back on this decision.  If my mother was angry about me throwing all my clothes away, she didn’t show it.  She also didn’t buy me any dresses; so I was left to wearing the 3 dresses/skirts that I owned.

God provided more clothes.  I won a contest at church and the prize was a new Sunday dress. Also, my public school teacher invited me over and gave me a few dresses that she “no longer was able to fit”.  I still felt that I needed to do more.  One day, at the age of 12, I attended a missions conference at our church.  We sang the first song, then a missionary woman gave her testimony.  She mentioned that she had just been saved.  How was that possible?  This woman had grown up in a good Christian home.  I knew her family and they were good people.  She had attended Bible college AND was now on her way to give her life to tell others about God.  If she had not been sure that she was going to heaven; how could I ever be?  A heavy fear came over me.  I just knew there was going to be an earthquake or something that night and everyone in the building was going to die and I would go straight to hell!  I rushed to our bus captain’s wife and pleaded with her to talk with me right then.  She politely told me that I would have to wait for a break in the service.  Forty-Five LONG minutes later, I went forward and prayed the sinner’s prayer. At this point, I knew all the verses by heart.  I had shared them with others.  I prayed with the alter worker and when I stood up, I felt as if a  huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

This time, I realized that there really was nothing I could do to save myself or to earn the love of God.  Jesus really had done everything necessary for me to be accepted.

I continued to go to church as often as possible.  I even was given the privilege of attending the Christian school.  I continued to wear skirts and dresses daily; but this time it was an exercise in delighting in the fact that I was a young woman who loved God and not because I needed to earn anyone’s love and favor...not even God’s.  He had already demonstrated the degree of his love for me - before I had even thought about Him.

What is the point of this post?  What do I wish for you to take away from my blog today?

 God loves you as you are!  GOD LOVES YOU!  And, The only thing you must do to earn His favor is to believe the gospel and receive Jesus as Savior. 
The Bible tells us in Romans 5:8 that God demonstrated his love for us while we were yet sinners! 1 John 1:8 says that if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves...he is talking to believers here!  My favorite passage to show others who are interested in salvation is John 3.  Nicodemas, a leader of religious Jews, is told by Jesus that if he didn’t forsake his religion in favor of being born into the family of God through the Spirit of God; he could forget seeing God’s kingdom.

 Be careful of legalism and legalistic attitudes.  Legalism, to me, is following a strict set of rules in order to earn salvation and to prop yourself up above others.  Doing things in order to show that you are in God’s favor.  It’s forsaking the gospel, grace and a relationship with God for a set of rules or laws that have nothing to do with salvation.

Be careful of borrowing the convictions and beliefs of others who seem to “have it together”.  As a young person, I imitated the ladies (good people) who were around me because I respected them and saw the blessings of God on them.  Sometimes I knew the “why” (reason) behind the “what”(rule or code of conduct).  Sometimes I didn’t.  Let me say that imitating good people as a young person never hurt me. 

As my relationship with the Lord grew, some of the borrowed convictions became my own because I saw they were good for me. Some of them I shed, as I viewed them as unnecessary for my benefit.  I have purposed to be intentional about my standards of dress, actions, dietary practices, and social activities because I want to reflect the God in me as much as possible; not because I want to attract God to me. There’s a difference.

Is any of this making sense?  Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.  Can any of you identify with my story?  Let me know in the comment section.  Is there anything I should have mentioned, but didn’t?  Let me know in the comment section.

Until Next Time,

Courage, Identity, Justice

 About three years ago our family watched a movie entitled Courageous.  That movie changed my son's life.  Understand that my son is currently 5 years old. Even still,  this movie was a life changer for him. I have shared before that he is obsessed with becoming a police officer.  For his birthday and Christmas every year since then, he wants a new police officer uniform and a suitcase. Last year he added a law book to the mix. We have replaced his uniform a few times; but he still doesn't have a suitcase or law book.  I did purchase a kid friendly book about the constitution and the bill of rights.  I am planning for the next year of school for him.  (I will expand on that topic - prepping for next year's school- later.)

Two years ago, the cousins came for an extended visit.  My husband and I noticed and discussed the fact that every time my nephew saw a police officer, he became visibly disturbed.   We watched the movie Courageous with him.  Problem? He did not identify with the good "Black" cop.  He identified with the drug dealers in the movie. We would see him imitating the behavior of "TJ" (head bad guy) in the movie!  What do you do???

We introduced him to every police officer (and fireman) we came into contact with...even if it was an incovenience.  It became sort of a game.  Anytime the boys saw an officer, they yelled out excitedly, "Police Officer!", or "Sherriff!" When Sir returned this year, it was like he hadn't left (in this area, at least😊).  The game continued.  I am sure that all the stickers, speeches,  and extra positive attention had a great effect on both of the boys...and the girls.

A few situations have happened that have caused me to really stop think about what we are trying to accomplish with all this police praise.

1.  I was pulled over, treated rudely, and given an unjust ticket....with my son in the car!  We were headed to the airport to pick up my husband and daughter.  They had surprised Grandpa in California for his birthday.  I was listening to an audio book while driving.  The other 3 kids were IN THEIR SEATBELTS enjoying the ride.  I saw the lights of a highway patrolman, who had been tailing me, come on behind my car!  I had seen him a mile back and thought nothing of it.  I wasn't speeding, or doing anything else wrong, so I didn't worry.  I was shocked when he pulled me over, asked for my papers, and accused my son of "walking around in the back seat".  Not just being unbuckled; but completely out of his seat and walking around.  Anyone who knows us, knows that is a complete lie.  What do I look like having my only son, 4 years old,unbuckled,  walking around in the back of my car, on the highway, windows rolled down (AC broken), in the middle of the Summer?!? I'll wrap this little tale up, cause I'm getting upset all over again!!!  I went to court - over an hour away from home - twice. In the end,  I didn't have to pay the ticket because the officer never showed up for court.  He was out on an extended medical leave for throat surgery and no one knew when he would return (according to his officer friend).  Coincidence? I think not!  I know God is real and that He heard the petition of His child who was treated unjustly and embarrassed by a man in uniform in front of her children.

2.  A few months later, I was home doing the dishes.  The kids and I noticed that a police officer was parked on the church property (next door), watching for speeders.  They excitedly ran inside and asked if they could go say "hello!" to him.  I allowed them to go and sent some pecan pie with them.

He came again a few days later and they greeted him with smiles and oranges (I was out of pie!).  He came over and thanked us for our generosity, warm welcome, and snacks.  He gave the kids stickers and allowed them to look inside the car.  This is where the story takes a turn.  He only showed them the back seat!  I don't know if there is some rule about not letting kids or others see inside the front; but this bothered me.  Did he even consider showing them anything other than what the law breakers see?

3.  This third situation brings me to the main point of this whole post.  Recently I was reading Proverbs thirty-one.  Usually, I sort of skim through the first nine verses and focus on the last 20 or so.  This is the chapter about how to be a virtuous woman, right?  This day was a little different.

I was aware that this passage was written by a queen - a mother, teaching her son.  Maybe it was her last words to him before he went off into the world, or even became king.  What did she think was important for him to know.  I saw five things:

First, she called him king Lemuel.  The name/word Lemuel (according to my sources - wikipedia and "she knows" baby names) means "devoted to, or belonging to God"; or "the king to whom God spoke".  How Beautiful!  My desire is for my sons to be devoted to God and for God to speak to them daily as they grow in the Lord.

Second, she charged him to be chaste.  There is noting like a rotten woman to rob a man of all his potential and ruin his life.(v.3)

Third, she encouraged him to be a man of justice. I am reminded of Micah 6:8.  God said that doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God is not only good; but required of all of us. (v. 5,8,9)

Fourth, to have mercy. To know when to have mercy requires discernment. (v.8,9)

Fifth, to be characterized by sobriety and temperance. ( v.4 - 7)

Last of all, she describes to him the "perfect" or "model" wife/queen. (v.10 - 31)

What does all this have to do with the movie Courageous and my recent experiences with the "Cops"?

As a mother, I am given direction from the word of God what to focus on as I teach my sons. It doesn't matter what my experiences are; I am to continue to praise and lift up the position of enforcing the law and ensuring peace in our community, country, and world.  When we encounter those who abuse that position, or forget the power of their words and actions; we must remind ourselves and our children that EVERY human being makes the choice daily to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God; or not.  We don't curse the whole process or institution because of individuals who make bad choices.  There will be days when we make bad choices.  Every sane person wants justice when they have been wronged.  Every sane person wants mercy when they have done wrong.  It takes a unique person of great discernment to hold the office deciding when to give which.  It is my hope that God will help us to equip our little Raymond with the tools and knowledge to be the man of justice he admires so much.

Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace. 

-Jeremiah 29:5-7

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 

- Matthew 5:9

Raymond is making sure the laundry is sorted properly.😉

Until Next Time,