Teaching Thankfulness

Recently I had a conversation with one of the ladies in our church about a young relative of hers.  He/She has developed a horrible habit of stealing.  "What causes this?" She asked me.  At the moment, I didn't exactly know what to say.  I know this family in question.  They are not hard up for cash, or anything else.  What would motivate a seemingly smart young person to become a thief?  I was challenged about this in my own home.  Sometimes the kids will find money (usually change) around the house and they automatically claim it as their own.  I had to explain that one does not get to claim something as theirs that they found on someone else's property.  

Overcoming the Desire to Steal

I have deduced that in order to combat this, three things are in necessary:

1.  Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  We began making Thursdays a day of thanksgiving shortly after my conversation with this lady.  What does this look like in our home?  Almost every evening we eat dinner together at the dining room table.  Once someone is finished, they get to tell three reasons why they are thankful.   My nephew is usually the first one to share as he is almost always the first one to finish his meal.  

Initially we heard the same things over and over and over again.  Raymond and I began to challenge the kids to try and be a little more original, or to tell "why" they are thankful for a particular family member.  When I was a teenager, my youth director used to have us practice this during the month of November.  I guess we are getting an early start!

My reason for beginning this exercise is that a person who is grateful for the people in their lives, doesn't steal from them.  Also, a person who is thankful for the things they have, will be far less likely to covet what others have.

Ephesians 4:28
"Let him that stole steal no more:  but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth."

2.  Help them to learn the value of hard work in association with money/ the value of a dollar.  Meaning, how much time it takes a person to earn a set amount of money to buy certain objects.  I personally am not in favor of traditional "allowances".  I am in favor of kids earning money for performing/working hard at certain unrequired tasks.  In our home, we pay the kids for going out of their way to practice kindness (more about this coming really soon).  It is important for kids to learn to manage money, or it will master them once they leave the home.

3.  Leave money around the house on purpose in order to get them used to not touching what belongs to others.  I had a boss once who did this.  I didn't know that it was for the purpose of testing my integrity.  I gathered it up and put it in a little bowl for them. 😐

What are your thoughts on this topic?
Do you have any suggestios?
Drop me a comment or email me. I would love to hear from you!
tinylabeckles@yahoo.com


Coming Soon...Essential Skills for Kids and The Kindness Project

Until Next Time,

Youtube

Surprise!!! I am joining the world of You tube "life influencers".  I have mixed emotions about this, but I believe it is something the Lord wants me to do.  I listen/watch at least one youtube vidio a day.  My mindset about a lot of things has been influenced heavily by some of the things I have heard on on different videos.  
I am not a professional about filming and editing or anything.  Hopefully I will improve as I continue.  For now, it is what it is.  This first video is about my story and how I became Mrs. Beckles.  I am aiming to keep all of the videos 10 minutes or less.  I failed in this first one; but not by much.   Hope you enjoy!

Tinylasnews on Youtube

Until next time,

Life and Math

Hello Friends!
Let me begin this post by saying that I would never consider myself a math person.  I am sure that all of my former teachers would respond to that statement with a hearty AMEN! I would like to change that scenario for my children.  There is tremendous value in having a Mathematical Mindset.

Last semester I tried to focus on building our reading skills, memorization skills, and a love of language.
We are continuing some of that; but our focus for this "semester" is primarily on math.

The picture above has all of our math goals for these 5 months.  I have color coded them to match each level.  The primary reason for this wall of math is to remind me of what my goals are for them.  I have already noticed that I put aside the math book (as great as it is) more often and practice mastering a listed skill instead. Where did I get a list of skill sets? I looked in the front of our math books (our math curriculum of choice) and narrowed each level down to 10 basic skill sets. I purchased the bubble gum machine cutouts at the Dollar Tree, wrote the skills in a different color for each level on a blank sheet of printer paper; then cut and pasted them to the bubble gum machine cutouts.

One other thing we are doing more of is incorporating things that are mathematical in nature into our daily lives.  Last year I invested in Saxon's math manipulative kit for Kindergartners.  That bucket now has a special corner, along with some other math manipulatives that I have added to it,  for the kids to use to figure out a problem, or just to have fun doing mathematical things (ie...building beautiful tangram creations, weighing things on a scale, counting with counters, putting together puzzles, sudoku puzzle books, etc.)   I also have a place where they can build with Lego's and leave their creations out to add to, show off, and enjoy.

I believe we are, more than ever, enjoying math.  I can see some feelings of fear and intimidation being torn down.

What would I like for you to take away from this post?  What are some things we are doing to aid our journey to a mathematical mindset?


1.  I remember that, especially in math, I am NOT the answer key!!!  The kids may ask me a question, but I do not feel pressured to immediately give them an answer.  I encourage them to think and dig for themselves.  If I see them becoming too frustrated to come to a reasonable conclusion I may...
     A.)  Ask an older sibling to help them while I watch and listen in.
     B.)  Ask a question to lead them back to the correct path to their answer.

     C.) Work  the problem in front of them, and them have them work a very similar problem.
     D.)  Remind myself that I have time, take a deep breath as I pray, and say, "Let's come back to this tomorrow!
2.  I wrote on our Character wall the following statements:
     "I will not be afraid to try!"
     "I will not be afraid to fail, then try again!"
 
  It is important to learn to take educated risks.  In a classroom full of students who are eager to laugh at you if you make a mistake, it is sort of hard to not fear failure and risk taking; but in a class/home where you are surrounded by people who love you, encourage you to do your best,  and know that we will not move forward until you "get it" (and that if they laugh at you for failing they will be SEVERELY punished), it's a little easier to take risks...it might even be fun.

Do you have any special tips and tricks that encourage yourself, or your kids in math?  Please share!
If you agreed with, were challenged by, or liked any portion of this post, Please share!
blah, blah, blah...Please share!

Rayanna's updated pre-school corner

Coming soon...Teaching Gratitude.

Until Next Time,

Let Boys Be Boys

Hello All!
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
We enjoyed our holiday season.  Our days from about the middle of November until last week were filled with food, hospitality, food, shopping, food, piano recitals and talent shows, gifts, and of course food. I am willing to bet that your holidays were probably a little like ours.

Now, on to the topic at hand.

My husband and I are opposites in a lot of areas.  One being that he LOVES surprises.  I don't. Each time I discovered I was expecting a child, I wanted to find out; but he didn't.  How did we handle this situation?  I found out, but didn't tell him. I would buy generic things that needed to be purchased in advance.  I also packed an outfit for a boy or a girl for the first photo.    Why does this matter?  Because when I found our that we were finally going to have a boy, I felt totally unprepared.  I wasn't sure what exactly to expect; but one thing I knew...boys are different than girls physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I wanted to be somewhat prepared for him, so I did what I do when facing most "new" things...I read a book or two.

As time goes on  and I see my son growing into who he will become, I am challenged
almost daily to remember that his needs are different than the needs of my daughters.  I have already shared with you the story about a certain pair of pants that he hated to wear because he said they were too girly; but recently we had a moment in the bathroom.  We were in a department store and he had to use the restroom.  I cleaned off the toilet seat and told him to sit down.  He said, "No, Mommy.  This is how men do it."


 He then unzipped his pants, raised the seat and peed. (he did not lower the seat after he finished!).  Initially I felt pride, but then I just wanted to sit down somewhere and cry because I was reminded that my time as his "Mommy" was running out. Most professionals say that our core person is shaped by the time we are age 7.  My son is now age 5.  I have about two years to go to help shape who he will fundamentally become.

My nephew, Sir is currently 7 years old.  His mother and I have the same mother.  I love my little Sister; but I often say we experienced 2 different childhoods.  I grew up in the ghetto.  We moved more times than I can remember.  We lived with my Grandmother for a great portion of my early childhood years.
My sister, on the other hand, only moved once when she was four years old.  My mother died in that house just a couple of years ago.  I knew McDonald's existed and sold hamburgers and fries.  My sister knows their entire menu by heart.  I remember my grandmother fixing fried liver and onions with potatoes for just heself and me.  My sis didn't experience that blessing.

Why do I bring this up?  Because as different as my childhood was for me and my sister; her children and mine may as well have been raised in two different countries.  When she visits us the boys will go out and climb trees and build forts and shoot their homemade guns.  She always yells for them to get out of the tree and put the guns down.  I tell him to obey his mother; but when she leaves, I show him the trees that are safe to climb and how high he can climb them. I don't buy guns for them, but I don't stop them from making guns of their own with things they find.  I also encourage them to "shoot" squirrels or pretend deer so we can have some squirrel stew or venison jerky.  I also may or may not have locked the boys outside a time or two and told them to "shoot a tree" when they say they need to come inside to use the restroom.  I read somewhere that boys need an hour a day of unstructured play time outside.  I do not intend to rob them of this necessity!  (wink, wink)

In the classroom

This is one area where remembering that boys and girls are different is extremely important.  For the sake of time,  I won't share everything that I think should be different for them in school.  I will say that I don't require the boys to sit at a desk quietly while working.  I make time to work one on one with them.  I also try and touch their hand, head, shoulder, or arm when trying to help them understand new concepts.  It seems that just a little bit of pressure helps them to grasp things better.

Life is calling me away, but let me leave you with a few things to read or watch that may make the boys in your life a little easier for you to understand. Two of the articles are about the dietary needs of boys. I feed our boys more fat than I do the girls.  This helps to keep them feeling full and is good for their development.  If you boys are always hungry, add more healthy fat to their diets.

Two books I feel really helped me are: Raising Wild Things and  Bringing Up Boys. 

Artilces:

Kids and eating Fat

kids need more fat

Video:

War on Boys

Until Next Time,

Coming Soon...Math and Life.

Meal Planning

Once upon a time I was a very organized person....NOT!!!  I try to be, but somehow I always seem to get in my own way.  Occasionally life happening also prevents me from being organized.  One of the things that I see in REAL organized people that I admire is that they know exactly what they are having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When I say exactly...I mean EXACTLY. 
One day when I carved some time out of my schedule in order to "meal plan", I said to myself.  I said, "Self, haven't you done this before?  Don't you have this written down somewhere where you can just reference it?"  Sure enough, I went to the spot where I keep all my cookbooks and such. I looked into my special folder of important things about food. I realized that I had about 8 months worth of meal planning already written out on monthly calendars.  I sorted them by their season; then I studied them for a while.  That's when I noticed some sort of pattern.  I wrote that pattern down, made a few adjustments, and came up with the following plan:

SUNDAY
     Breakfast: Cereal and milk (cheerios and almond milk)
     Lunch:       Whatever my husband is wanting or what our state of the week suggests. (See                                     homeschooling posts for more info.)
     Dinner:     Whatever dessert we want.

Sunday's are crazy days in the mornings.  I usually don't eat a traditional breakfast. I put collagen and mct oil in my coffee and keep it moving.   Sunday is our only day to eat dessert, and the only day that we plan to go off (Trim Healthy Mama) plan.

MONDAY
     Breakfast:  Yogurt, Fruit, and granola
     Lunch:       Meat and cheese sandwiches and         
                                   chips/pretzels/crackers
     Dinner:       Beans
     Snack:       Boiled eggs

Sundays I try and take some beans out and put them in a pot to soak in preparation for the next day.  If I forget, I use canned beans or allow extra time for the dry beans to cook.  We may have chili or some type of soup that includes beans.
I also boil about 2 dozen eggs and keep them in the refrigerator as a snack.  When the kids start singing the hungry song but it's not time for dinner; they can have an egg or two.

Tuesday
     Breakfast:  Muffins
     Lunch:       PB and J, chips/crackers/pretzels
     Dinner:      Pasta Meal (spaghetti or fettuccine or something)
     Snack:       Fruit/Applesauce  Week 1 is usually fresh fruit.  Week 2 is usually dried fruit                                      and nuts or applesauce (I shop every 2 weeks.)

Wednesday
     Breakfast:  Cereal and Milk
     Lunch:       Fruit and dip/ Vegetables and dip
     Dinner:      Crock pot meal
     Snack:       granola bar
Thursday
     Breakfast:  Pancakes and Bacon
     Lunch:       Quesadilla/turkey roll ups and side
     Dinner:      Skillet Dinner (most recently Fish cakes, sweet potato rounds and broccoli)
     Snack:       Fruit snacks
Friday
     Breakfast:  Sausage and Eggs
     Lunch:       Soup/Salad
     Dinner:      Stir-fry and rice
     Snack:         Nuts and chocolate/candy
Saturday
     Breakfast:  Oatmeal
     Lunch:       Whatever is left in the refrigerator or pantry
     Dinner:       Same as above
     Snack:        Same as above

As you can see, this is just a guide; but it does give me something to reference.  When I want some variety I can still use this for direction in my cookbooks or even when looking back at old meal plan sheets. It allows me flexibility for the changing seasons as well.  For example, on Monday for breakfast we may have smoothies or kefir instead of fruit and yogurt.  As a snack we may have jello or something.  Still I am following a guide which helps to alleviate some stress.  In this area I found that sometimes it pays to look back in order to save time in the future! 

Thanks for joining me today!

Until next time,

Coming Soon....Letting Boys be Boys!

Snapshots of our Week

"Happy" Max

The following shots were taken at church in preparation for our Christmas cards

Breakfast: Kefir smoothie.  Which day do you think that fell on?

Our Morning Routine

One thing about having a lot of people in the house - it is important for us to have some type of formal schedule to follow.  Everyone just doing their own thing until breakfast results in chaous. I considered how we normally did things, and I watched several videos on youtube in search of the best morning routine for our family.  Finally, we had a family meeting and all agreed that the following is what our morning routine would be.

1.  Grooming and getting dressed
2.  Clean your Zone
3.  Quiet time
4.  Act of Kindness
5.  Exercise
6.  Breakfast
7.  Read/Go to the "circle" and play

The kids are allowed to wake up as early as they would like; but (other than to say good morning, grab a book or two to read, and use the restroom) they may not leave their beds until 8:00.  I have said to them, more than once, that my "on light" does not work before 8:30; meaning that I do not have to be available for service until my morning things are complete...which is typically at about 8:30.

During that first 30 minutes of the day they are to greet me and the others who are awake and, as quietly as possible, begin their morning routines.

1.  Personal Grooming and getting dressed is pretty self explanatory.  Wash faces, brush teeth, change from pj's to clothes if it's not their bath/shower day.  If it is their bath/shower day, they can go ahead and include that as part of their personal grooming.

2.  Zones:  our home is divided into 8 zones.  Each person in the house (except my husband) has an area that they are responsible for keeping clean.  This must be done BEFORE they may eat breakfast.

3.  Quiet Time:  Most of the kids have a Bible or some type of "Jesus" book to read or study the pictures of as an act of devotion to God.  They must go to a quiet place with their books, and/or journals and have a time to be quiet, think about God and pray.

4.  Act of Kindness:  We have an ongoing kindness contest.  I have blogged about this before, but basically they earn tickets (it used to be beads) for doing kind things or saying kind things to/for others.  This also should be done before breakfast.

5.  Exercise:  Right now we do Cosmic Kids on Amazon Prime.  Its a yoga and story time for kids.  We love it!

6.  Breakfast:  We eat! Immediately after exercising, its time for breakfast.  If their chores are not finished, they pray with us for breakfast and then leave to finish their routines.

7.  Read/Go to the "circle and play".  Those who have not spent time reading something for 20 minutes, other than their Bibles, read.  Those who have read may go outside and play "in the circle" (my line of sight from the dining room window) until time for school.

Do you have a mourning routine?  Having this plan has worked wonders in keeping the peace in our home.  I am sure that having some sort of plan will bless your home as well.

Below are a few snapshots of our morning...in no particular order.

Sir putting things away.

Rayanna enjoying her cinnamon muffin for breakfast.

Aaliyah making her bed.

Annas reading with Cassidy.

Devoionne having quiet time.

Until next time,

Reading Issues

It's a wonderful experience and a gift to teach your child to read...when they finally realize that they can read.  The process in and of itself can actually be quite frustrating, challenging, frustrating, and boring, ...and frustrating.  Yes, you read that correctly!  Frustrating. Challenging. Boring.   Frustrating!!!

Get used to saying the same things over, and over, and over, and over again.

I mentioned in a previous post that I keep some clay dough or a stress ball handy when teaching a child to read.  Sometimes I even play sudoku, or knit while a child is reading to me. (Remember: I am not a naturally patient person.) These things help me to both stay awake and keep calm, and it seems to take the pressure off of them because they think I am not really listening. The step from reading "bat" to "bait" is a giant one.  Larger still is the leap from reading their Abeka (reading) book to reading things in their natural environment, or even just reading for pleasure.
  
I am currently working with 7 kids at 7 different levels of reading; which is quite interesting. SIDE NOTE: I have discovered that I can learn a lot about how the child will approach things in life by how they deal with the issue of reading.  One of my children immediately tested their new knowledge out in their environment each step of the way.  Another of my children was reading for nearly 2  years before they began to pick up books, other than the mandatory one for school, and read it because they could.  Another wants to read their OWN Bible and a book about law...they don't know how to read!...They are learning fast; but it will be a long while before they are ready for 4th grade and college level books! He doesn't know that, and doesn't care.  He asks me at least once a week if he is ready yet.  Gotta love that kid!

One of my sister's kids will attempt to read anything...they used to only be accurate about 30% of the time; but that didn't deter them from trying.  One of them didn't bother trying, and the other only read things that were far beneath their grade level of reading.

Let's get to the point of this post.  What problems have I encountered while teaching my children, and now my sister's kids to read? Continue reading to find out.

For a long time Aaliyah was content to listen to me read.  When we began to learn her alphabet and blends and such; she didn't really get motivated to do so until one day her baby sister (who was playing next to us while we were having our lesson) answered a question before she did.  From that day forward she was motivated to step up her game.  I was motivated to keep baby sister close by while teaching.  We have encountered 2 notable challenges while teaching Aaliyah to read.
1.  Defrentiating "b" from "d".  I dealt with this issue by pointing it out to her, and using the clever little trick my friend, Jolene recommended to me.  watch video here
2.  Mirror reading and writing. This is when a child see things out of order or backwards; just like things in a mirror would be.  I used to think that Aaliyah had a touch of dyslexia; but her comprehension is great, so that ruled dyslexia out.  This issue is present not only in her reading and writing, but also in math. For the most part, this is not an issue any more as they apparently grow out of it.  learn more here

Cassidy could read for almost 2 years before SHE knew she could read.  This precious girl is on her own time table with just about everything she does.  Some things she does early.  ( I.E. She taught herself to tie her own shoes.  She potty trained  herself before she was two.)   Other things...not so much. (I.E. Reading on her own)  The most notable issue with Cassidy's reading, other than her reading for fun, is also the mirror reading/writing that I mentioned with Aaliyah.  She is aware of the issue, so she most often self corrects.

Raymond DeSean:  Raymond was the first one to really enjoy 100 Easy Lessons that I mentioned in a previous post.  He was reading Bob books on his own by the age of 3.  Life happened and his previously diligent mother began to slack.  Too many days off has amounted to us virtually starting the reading process over.  We are now reading those same Bob books again...about 2 years later; but with greater proficiency and understanding.  I'm o.k. with that.  I am very grateful that he does not have the mirror reading issue, or any other issue sometimes present in children.

Rayanna:  This little girls LOVES books!!!  She gets upset when it is not her "school day" and she doesn't get to read with Mama from her "school books" which are kept at school in her special spot.  I rotate them out every month so that she has a new set of about 20 books to enjoy.  I sometimes have the bigger girls read with her; but usually from one of the books she and I have already read together. We are now in the process of learning vowels.  I'll let you know how her reading progresses and whether she loves to read, or prefers to be read to.

Building on another man's foundation

I am currently homeschooling my sister's kids.  I must say that reading is the most difficult skill to teach a child when they have learned things from someone else a different way.

With one child I thought their vision was a problem, so I had it tested.  No problems.  
I began to think that maybe this child was just being lazy; but I have come to learn through research that all of the cousins were taught to read by memorization and not phonics.  The major problem with this method (as far as I am concerned) is that when new words are before them; they guess instead of reading the word.  They have no tools in their tool belt to figure out what the word really says; whereas phonics gives kids the keys to deconstruct the word in order to figure it out.

Annas is 10 years old and in the fourth grade.  She is currently reading through the third grade level books.  To be honest, I wanted to put her back into the second grade level books; but didn't want to embarrass her (her sister is in the second grade).  She is reading the third grade level books; but I limit her to reading only one story and a poem (when applicable) in her Abeka books so she doesn't zoom through them in order to catch up with her 4th grade cousin.  She and Aaliyah are reading the Little House in the Big Woods series together aloud.  This is to allow her to hear more closely what she should sound like when reading.  I am comfortable with this because I trust Aaliyah to help her gently, and because Annas is a better math student than Aaliyah and helps Aaliyah out in that subject in school.  They help each other out and thus no one gets the big head.
When we started in June, she couldn't read through a page without making SEVERAL mistakes.  So many that it was painful for both of us because I demanded her to re-read each word correctly.  We read together today, and I am so proud to report that she only made three mistakes in the whole story which was several pages long.  She also read with emotion.  Proud Auntie Moment!

Devorionne is in the second grade. This child LOVES, LOVES, LOVES books! Problem? She would "read" a book and the story she "read" would be totally different than the one the author wrote.  This did not bother her at all; but it frustrated me greatly.  What did I do?  I took her back to books that were easy for her and made her read them to me correctly and v e r y, V E R Y   S L O W L Y ( think drunk person on muscle relaxers) before she could move on to grade level books.  I also used blend, dipthong, and word flashcards with her to improve her accuracy.  I am extremely proud of her progress.  I think the one thing that helped her most was having her read aloud to me slowly.  Devorionne is probably my sharpest student.  She is a very fast learner and enjoys school tremendously.

Sir (Devorionte): Where do I start with this one?  ...From the begining. We went back to K-5 books with Sir.  He is Devorionne's twin (2nd grade); but struggled a lot in public school on every level; not because he has any mental issues; but because he is all boy, and sitting in a classroom is the last place he should be...especially after he has eaten any sugar products.  Initially he was really upset that He and Raymond DeSean were reading buddies.  I only work with R. DeSean about 3 days a week though, so they are no longer at the same level. To date, Sir has completed all of the K-5 program and is now at the end of his second, first grade book.  Sir has just realized (as of 2 weeks ago) that he can read and he is really accelerating fast!   We read together today and I only had to remind him twice - as opposed to every other word- about the 2 vowel rule.  (How many vowels are in that word?  What are they?  I need to hear the name of the one first in line when you read the word.) PAM! (Proud Auntie Moment).

In about 20 years or so when these young people are experiencing success in their lives, I will be proud that I had a part in leading them on the path to success.  Very few people worth mentioning became successful without a love of learning.  Fewer still love learning who are not great readers.  I love being a part of their journey!

Coming Soon: Our Morning routine

Until Next Time,